Who You Know

Come to find out, it’s kind of hard to get published. No, seriously, it’s not that easy. Cheaper by the Dozen sooo lied to us! It seems like everyone is writing a book. In fact, is there anyone out there who isn’t? Some ideas are pretty lame; and if I can say that, that’s saying something. I mean, is there really a demand for a 250,000 word, middle grade, paranormal, historical fiction novel centered around the journey of a young women’s quest to fill out her Netflix signup form and thereby complete her rite of passage to women hood? I don’t care if you do have strong female characters! It’s still a dumb idea!! Okay… I’d buy it.

So, why is it so hard? All I can figure out is that 25% of your chance of success is a good idea, the other 25% is your writing, and the remainder is who you know. Don’t believe me? I present my anecdotal evidence.

On the website Guide to Literary Agents, in a section entitled, How I Got My Agent, an author named Billy Coffey describes how he got his agent… Well no duh, what else would it be about? Anyway, he describes how he queried lots of agents, got some interest, but no offers. So, he starts a blog. After eight months, one of his readers says she can put him in touch with her agent, Rachelle Gardner. Okay, so what’s the big deal? Well, he’d already queried her and she had politely said, “No.” He contacts Rachelle again though his reader, and this time, she says,” Yes!” What changed? Is it like jury selection? I ask, because I had to go today. Why did I get passed by and the guy next to me get selected? We looked about the same, had about the same facial hair, used the same posture, and we answered the questions the same. I mean, when I yelled, “Off with her head,” I wasn’t being serious. Not that I’m complaining; I didn’t really want to do it anyway (despite the lame video they showed us, which was obviously produced by the lowest bidder). And if they are going to threaten us with a $1000 fine and 30 days in jail for not showing up, you’d think they would put the check-in time on the @#^$& notice!! No, I couldn’t call and ask, the phones were off; and the message simply said the trial was on. Thank goodness for my brilliant deductive powers! I showed up when the courthouse opened, prepared to curse them for their lack of instruction. Who knew it was really the right time? The other jurors complained about the same thing—at least those who came.

Woops, off the res again. In short, I’m not sure what to think about this whole networking for contacts thing. It seems like your work should stand on its own. Oh well…I guess I’ll try querying Rachelle now.