Is This Thing On?

Since this is my first post, I’ll tell a little bit about myself—very little. I hate vomiting my life upon people; but believe it or not, there are some who are interested. And for you agents out there who may have accidently stumbled across my blog, I forgive you for being here. And yes, my great-grandma 3 times removed did love my book! Or I’m sure she would have, if she was still alive; and I’m not really sure what three 3 times removed means anyway. Since I’m feeling honest, I’ll point out that I do suffer writer’s ADD; hence the reason I haven’t really told you anything about myself, or what’s going on.

This blog exists because I’ve read that all writers need to have a website and blog. I’m assuming this is in the hopes that my three blog readers will buy my book when it comes out. So, let me reassure my future agent that me, my wife, and mom, will indeed buy copies of my book. If you need more reassurance, then we can rely upon my good looks, or what’s left of them. They seem to have gone a bit south over the years. I blame El Nino. Don’t worry though; with enough money, a physical trainer, plastic surgeon, wardrobe, and a gifted makeup artist, we can turn this ship around in time for me to star as the lead character in the movie adaptation of my book. Don’t let the 16 year age span between me and my character scare you off. I’m a very young 36. Just the other day, I jumped a whole three feet off the back dock at work and I only had to take two Tylenols after! Let’s see my dead great-grandma 3 times removed do that!!

Woops, I’ve gone off the reservation again. Okay, so I also wanted a place where I can share my experiences with this whole writing thing, gain massive amounts of loyal followers, and maybe start my own cult. I don’t know, we’ll play it by ear and see how this thing goes. See that wasn’t so hard to say, was it? Just nod your head and say, “Yes, master.”