Ooma

How would you like to pay $12 a year for your home phone service, including long distance? You’re thinking, “Yeah right I’ve heard that before. I’ll have to use my computer as my phone. Right?” Nope, you don’t. “Then I have to plug my phone into my computer, install software, and pray it all works.” Wrong again. So, what is it? It’s called Ooma. “Did you just cuss at me in Portuguese?” No, I have no idea what Ooma stands for. Ooma is a VOIP phone (Voice over IP). In other words, it uses your internet connection to make calls. “See, you lied to me! I told you I had to use a computer in some way.” Now calm down, don’t let the blinking lights and electronics scare you. If you already have an internet connection, then this is easy to do.

Let me backtrack. I’ve been looking at a way to politely tell Qwest to go away. It’s been coming for a long time. I have the most basic phone service imaginable. Caller ID is the only thing I have. No voice mail, no call waiting, no long distance. On top of that, I had to pay extra for them to do nothing! That is, not to print my name in their phonebook. With modern times and technology, in my opinion, they charge way too much.

It’s taken me a while to switch because I haven’t been impressed with the competition. Vonage’s price wasn’t low enough for me to make the switch. Magic Jack is cheap, but I have to plug it into my computer. And from those who do have it, it doesn’t seem very reliable. It probably isn’t Magic Jack’s fault, but it does rely on the stability of your computer. Your kids could get on and mess it up; it may get stuck on a patch; someone may accidentally turn it off. You see the problems.

Ooma is different enough to get me to switch. The only possible drawback is the $249 price to buy the equipment. Best Buy had it on sale for $199 at the time I wrote this article. There are two Ooma devices to choose from: the Hub and the Telo. The Telo is the newer of the two, but also the least proven. I went with the new one because of the future updates, such a Google voice integration. The hub will probably go away soon, and there probably won’t be any future updates for it. If you’re into product packaging, the box was nice looking and had a high quality feel. There aren’t a lot of components, basically the device itself, a power cord, phone cord, and Ethernet cord to plug into your internet connection. The instructions are easy to understand; they use diagrams and large print. The set up was easy, basically register your device online, plug everything in as per the instructions, and off you go.

They’ve put a lot of thought into making it easy. All the phone updates and new features happen automatically. No downloading new firmware or software and installing it; it does it all on its own. No messing with Ip addresses to manage the device. You simply sign onto your My Ooma web account to manage it. You don’t even have to do that if you don’t feel like it. However, in there it gives you options, like changing how many times it rings before the answering machine picks up, and the ability to add a phone number to forward calls to if the device goes off line, such as an internet outage or power failure. You can always buy a UPS battery power supply to keep the device up in case of power failure. There are some advanced features you get if you sign up for a premier account, which will cost you $9.99 a month, or $119.99 a year. You get a choice between a free handset or free call porting of your old phone number, both are roughly a $50 value. With the premier service, you get call forwarding and a second phone line, so your spouse or teenager can’t tie up the phone, unless of course they both use it at the same time. There are even black lists. Ooma will block telemarketers for you; they call it a community black list. There is a separate, personal black list you can individually add numbers to. Both lists allow you to choose one of four options: Send to voice mail, Call blocked message, Number disconnected message, or continuous ring--they hear nothing but ringing, you simply hear nothing. The last free feature of note is HD voice when calling to another Ooma device. Not sure what that really buys in practicality, I mean it’s not like your voice is going to magically get more seductive, or change from monotone to stereo.

This is totally awesome!

Every once in a while, a product comes along that is life moving. I’m not talking about products that are only just cool, like my newly deceased Zune HD. FYI, leaving any device on top of your car usually doesn’t end well. Yes, I will be replacing it because it’s the best media player I’ve used--even over the Ipod. The Ipod is superior in many aspects, but not in the music and video quality department. And don’t even get me going on the Zune pass, which is sooo cool!

Okay, back on topic. There are many products that are cool, and then there are those that are love at first sight, life moving, no going back once you’ve tried them. Like a large LCD/plasma HDTV. Once you’ve owned one, life isn’t worth living without it. So what product am I excited about? It’s called Sugarsync.

Sugarsync is software that syncs data between multiple computers and phones. It will sync your documents, music, photos, and most any data between all the computers and phones you want. Not so different then some other products, like Mesh and Dropbox. However, those products fall under the just “cool” category. They are cool products, but come short of that life moving status. I can give them up without really missing them. Like Dropbox, Sugarsync has two gigs of free space, Mesh comes with five gigs. If you want more storage, then you have to pay.

Here’s what separates the men from the boys, the simply cool from the life moving. Mesh only syncs between pc’s and Mac’s. No smart phones. Supposedly Windows Mobile support is coming, but they’ve promised that for a year, and it’s still in Beta. Mesh is really only good for five gigs of free online backup space. I’ve had problems syncing two machines, and wouldn’t recommend it. My affair with Dropbox was short lived. It will sync between Mac’s, Pc’s, and Iphones. Dropbox’s cool feature is document revisions. If you make a change to a document, it will keep past revisions, just in case you want to refer back to a previous version.

Sugarsync, however, can do document revisions and it will sync between Mac, PC, Iphone, Windows Mobile, Android, and Blackberry. Yep, you read that right, all of them. You can share files with friends, and there is facebook integration. You can even stream your music collection from your pc to your phone, and you can access your files from any computer with and internet connection. There is one drawback with Windows Mobile, it will only sync documents one way. Meaning, you can get your word documents on your phone, but if you try to edit them, Sugarsync won’t sync the changes back. You’ll have to do that manually.

The Android side of my phone doesn’t have the same one way sync issue, but like the Iphone there is no native editing of Word Documents. I believe you can purchase documents to go for both Iphone and Google Android that will add that ability, but without a slide out physical key board, why bother?

I’m always looking for products that make writing easier. I’m living under the delusion that if I buy enough technology, my second book will write itself. B’lue tells me there is no substitute for just sitting down and writing, but I’m not convinced.

Use this link to sign up and receive an additional 250 megs of storage. https://www.sugarsync.com/referral?rf=e5i53teghcz3c

Twitter… Really??

Do I really have to do Twitter? There may be a point where I don’t want to get published that badly and Twitter may be my writing Waterloo. I mean, come on! I do Facebook, I started a blog and sometimes even update it. What more do I have to give? Can’t I just offer a leg, or something? I might even be persuaded to give an arm…Well, probably not. I might need those more than a leg. Besides, I’ve secretly always wanted one of those Rascal scooters, maybe one with a cattle guard option for shoving fellow shoppers out of the way this Holiday season. So, a leg makes much more sense.

What’s twitter you ask? It basically works like a blog, but it’s limited in length. So, the posts have to be short. Here’s an example of what it may look like:

About 1 minute ago: Screams of torturous pain! Oh my gosh, I’m going to die!! Someone pleeeaasee kill me and end this personal hell!!!

About 15 minutes ago: The pain is unbearable. It’s sliding through my insides like a ball of razorblades through jello.

About 30 minutes ago: There is something strange going on inside me, accompanied by some serious discomfort.

About 45 minutes ago: I don’t feel so good. I think I need an MRI. I might have the swine flu or something.

About 1 hour ago: Well, off to Costco for a slice of pizza. It’s no Pie Pizzeria, but it’ll do in a pinch.

Twitter is about people vomiting their life out on the digital world. Most of Twitter is chalk full of stuff you couldn’t care a whit about. At least they named it right. The word twitter, in my mind, conjures up the image of birds on a wire turning to each other and tweeting a way. An accurate image I think, unlike that “super soft” toilet paper B’lue buys. I think it’s really that John Wayne toilet paper, where its slogan is, “It’s tough, it’s gritty, and it doesn’t take crap from anyone!”

Utah SAINT

This is a little off topic. I know it’s hard to believe that writing and building a cult following aren’t my only interests… Gasp, shock , horror! Now, calm down my loyal followers, everything will be alright. It’s just that I thought this might be of some worth, especially for those of you who are securing something valuable with a padlock. Say, your wallet in a locker, your expensive boat, even your Netflix password in your hope chest. I’m not saying I have a hope chest mind you, and if I did, it wouldn’t have to be big. My hopes seem to be diminishing as time goes by. My biggest hope now is for a Café Rio pork salad for lunch. Mmmm. I don’t think it would keep very long in a chest. I tried keeping one in my car for emergencies. Talk about the quickest way to remove that new car smell!

Okay, back on topic. I got home from a Utah SAINT conference last week. Note: the word SAINT is misleading. I’d say most everyone that room would not come remotely close to sainthood, myself excluded. Hence the reason I’m trying to start a cult, or a readership base. I dunno, I’ll go with whatever comes first. SAINT stands for Security and Incident Network Team, or something like that. Basically it’s a group of security geeks from around Utah. We get together once a year, and talk about IT security. We usually do hacking challenges, learn about new tools, techniques, etc.. This year they focused a little more on physical security. Locks, windows, doors, etc. Stuff I’m already somewhat familiar with.

Anyway, in the conference they demonstrated how easy it is to pick locks. I’ve done some of this on very cheap old locks, but this was an eye opener. You know all those combination pad locks you see on gym lockers? Stop laughing! Yes, I have seen the inside of a gym! Can we move on now? Thank you. As I was saying, it’s actually easier to open those through nefarious means then to actually dial in the combo. What about your $30 lock? Not much different. If you’re interested in how it’s done, just look up padlock shims on the internet. My word of advice, you’re going to have to get into the $80-$100 pad locks. That is, if you actually want to secure something. Same thing goes for you house locks, except those run about $200-$300. Of course, shelling out $300 for a decent house lock makes little sense if you have a window right next to the lock that can easily be smashed. Nor is it wise to buy a $100 pad lock to secure a $50 bike. However, $80 to secure you wallet (i.e. identity) in a locker, or your $5,000 dirt bike, is well worth the money. Sadly, security usually only improves after something bad happens.

Who You Know

Come to find out, it’s kind of hard to get published. No, seriously, it’s not that easy. Cheaper by the Dozen sooo lied to us! It seems like everyone is writing a book. In fact, is there anyone out there who isn’t? Some ideas are pretty lame; and if I can say that, that’s saying something. I mean, is there really a demand for a 250,000 word, middle grade, paranormal, historical fiction novel centered around the journey of a young women’s quest to fill out her Netflix signup form and thereby complete her rite of passage to women hood? I don’t care if you do have strong female characters! It’s still a dumb idea!! Okay… I’d buy it.

So, why is it so hard? All I can figure out is that 25% of your chance of success is a good idea, the other 25% is your writing, and the remainder is who you know. Don’t believe me? I present my anecdotal evidence.

On the website Guide to Literary Agents, in a section entitled, How I Got My Agent, an author named Billy Coffey describes how he got his agent… Well no duh, what else would it be about? Anyway, he describes how he queried lots of agents, got some interest, but no offers. So, he starts a blog. After eight months, one of his readers says she can put him in touch with her agent, Rachelle Gardner. Okay, so what’s the big deal? Well, he’d already queried her and she had politely said, “No.” He contacts Rachelle again though his reader, and this time, she says,” Yes!” What changed? Is it like jury selection? I ask, because I had to go today. Why did I get passed by and the guy next to me get selected? We looked about the same, had about the same facial hair, used the same posture, and we answered the questions the same. I mean, when I yelled, “Off with her head,” I wasn’t being serious. Not that I’m complaining; I didn’t really want to do it anyway (despite the lame video they showed us, which was obviously produced by the lowest bidder). And if they are going to threaten us with a $1000 fine and 30 days in jail for not showing up, you’d think they would put the check-in time on the @#^$& notice!! No, I couldn’t call and ask, the phones were off; and the message simply said the trial was on. Thank goodness for my brilliant deductive powers! I showed up when the courthouse opened, prepared to curse them for their lack of instruction. Who knew it was really the right time? The other jurors complained about the same thing—at least those who came.

Woops, off the res again. In short, I’m not sure what to think about this whole networking for contacts thing. It seems like your work should stand on its own. Oh well…I guess I’ll try querying Rachelle now.

I am insane.

Whoops, I guess I forgot about this blog thing that I promised, in a moment of weakness, to keep up to date. But, since I am trying to build a cult following, I shall continue writing for my adoring fans. Why yes, delusion does runs in the family. Why else would I want to start a cult? (See my first post for an explanation.)

Hmm, what to write about? Well, since I started this webpage to keep you all informed on the train wreck—i.e. me trying to get published, (I know it’s hard to divert the eyes), I’ll write about why I started this insanity—i.e. writing a novel. In fact, if you would’ve asked me if I wanted to write a book, up until a few weeks before I started writing Marysvale, I would’ve replied, “I’d rather slide down razor blades into a pool of lemon juice.” (Note: Netflix subscription form excluded.) I think my high school English teachers would have had the same response to reading a book written by me. So how did it happen? Well, I had this strange dream, probably caused by eating a Polish hotdog that didn’t sit quite right. Once that worked its way out of my system, I had a less bizarre dream that was very, very emotional and real. It was the kind of dream that keeps you up after having it and makes you think about it throughout the next day. I thought it would make an excellent book and mulled over the idea of writing it someday. Thus, my aversion to writing began slipping away. Someday turned out to be only a few days away, when I had another emotional dream. I thought this one was very unique, and I started to write it down. It consumed almost all my free time. I wrote on the bus, in the car, at the park, waiting for my wife in the store, camping, I even used vacation time. Many a great TV shows went un-watched. Ten months later, Marysvale was born. Since then, I’ve had all kinds of ideas for books. B’lue won’t let me write any of them until I finish the sequel to Marysvale, which is about a quarter of the way done. Marysvale, by the way, is a real town; and no, I haven’t been there. I hear the mountains there are beautiful; and since it is fall time, I think I’ll go check it out shortly. Though, when I wrote Marysvale, I set it in more of a New England setting than a high mountain one. And yes, I have been to New England.

Biography

I’m about to scare away any possible agents, I probably shouldn’t have included my web address in any of the queries, but I can’t help it, I’m having too much fun with this.

One agent asked for a bio, which includes your writing career. I looked though my closet and couldn’t find my Nebula award—turns out I only won it in a dream. So, I got joking with Sue about my bio and wrote on her facebook page, “Jared’s most notable writing success is his Netflix Subscription form.” Apparently, agents don’t like to see things like that for your writing credentials—go figure. Sue suggested I include the forged get-out-of-school notes. After I stopped laughing, I decided to write the biography I wish I could send to an agent. Who knows, maybe I will. What’s one more rejection anyway? Here goes:

Jared Southwick entered this world in Salt Lake City, Utah in 1492. Jared has had the opportunity of traveling and living in different parts of the world. He thoroughly loved the many different cultures, cuisine, and associated foodborne illnesses. Jared earned his bachelor’s degree in e-business just in time to experience the dot com burst. Since developing an addiction to sustenance, he currently enjoys steady employment as a Security Analyst for the government.

Jared’s depth as a writer and attention to detail has progressed tremendously over the years. After having been dealt defeating blows to his writing career during his junior high school days, his breakthrough came in high school with the epiphany that his father’s signature was much easier to forge than his mother’s. This also led to the discovery that his father was much more liberal and tolerant of his social life then his oppressive, but well-intended, mother (whose conservative policies and views on teenage life may have been shaped by her brief 35-year stint as a junior high school health teacher). These revelations also had the added benefit of giving him a badly needed boost in confidence; which was soon followed by a string of literary successes, and much more free time. Jared’s most notable writing success is his Netflix Subscription form, which has opened the door to many wonderful book-to-big-screen-movie deals.

Jared and his wife, B’lue, live in the shadow of the Wasatch Front mountain range.

What's your writing bio?